Jennifer Aniston Rewrites The John Mayer Break-Up

Jennifer Aniston is attempting to do damage control to her "He's Just Not That Into You" reputation, claiming she dumped Tool Academy candidate John Mayer and not the other way around. Hon, you kissed any remaining shred of dignity you had goodbye when you hooked up with him in the first place.  And then went back for seconds. 

Porn star Jenna Jameson and baby daddy Tito Ortiz welcomed twin boys on Monday.  Whew, at least they won't have to worry about keeping them away from stripper heels and off the pole. 

• And iiii eee-iiii will always love youuu ooohhh. Rumors are circulating that "Umbrella" singer Rihanna is in talks to remake the Whitney Houston/Kevin Costner flick "The Bodyguard." Frankly, she'd be better off hiring one instead. 

• SNL's Andy Samberg has been tapped to host MTV Awards. Fingers crossed that he and Justin Timberlake will perform their parody of Beyonce's "Put a Ring on It" video.  After the ruckus about Janet's boob, "D--k in a Box"  or "J--z In My Pants" are just too much to hope for. 

• Unfrigging believable. Despite Michael Jackson's wacko antics, the pedo-performer can STILL manage to sell out concerts like it's the 80s. Hello, Freak Show! 

• More reason to love Radiohead: Thom Yorke slammed Miley Cyrus after some semi-self-important remarks she made at the Grammys after they declined to meet the tween princess. Does she know being Disney royalty isn't the same thing as being a royal?

• Just because Kelly Clarkson might need a little styling assistance does NOT mean she is prego.  Or a lesbian. 

• The U.K.'s Mirror reports 22-year-old model Jesus Luz has reportedly moved in with Material Cougar Madonna.  Is this what she meant when she said she wanted to adopt again? 

• Newly cast Melrose Place resident Ashley Simpson-Wentz should make sure hubby Pete uses some mouthwash before they smooch following his frat boy version of Russian roulette.  With urine. Ewwww. 

By Paige Muller

Paige Muller, Gossip & Hollywood Hijinx
		About the author:
		Paige Muller is a gossip gal with an appreciation – some would say obsession – for Hollywood hijinx, celebrity style and the latest fashion trends.  From who hooked up, who's knocked up and "WTF are they wearing?", Paige offers all the dish, with a side of snark. When not pondering Jennifer Aniston's perplexing post-breakup PR strategy, Paige is a published writer and communications professional who has worked with brands like Dove, L'Oreal, More magazine, Gap and WE: Woman's Entertainment.
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