Attempts Career Resurrection, Take #25

Tyra Banks donned a fat suit a couple of years ago, for like, two seconds, for a psycho-babble episode of her talk show about body image, and "you go girl!"  proclamations and self-congratulations abounded for her "daring."

Then she threw a hissy fit when photos of her looking less than super-model slim leaked and immediately kicked off an "I'm not fat!" media blitz that resulted in a sucking-in-her-gut-so-hard-it-looked-like-she-was-going-to-pass-out swimsuit cover of People.

Gwyneth Paltrow packed on the pretend pounds for her part in Shallow Hal and Renee Zellweger upped her BMI to play Bridget Jones, and suddenly they were the spokespeople for fat acceptance.  That is until the end credits rolled, then they both hit the gym like somebody said something bad about their mamas.

Now tabloid punching bag Jessica Simpson is reacting to the recent media freak-out over her mild weight gain and endless discussion about her thighs by shopping around a reality show called The Price of Beauty in which she travels the globe to tackle body-image issues and the perception of beauty.

Well, Jess has discussed her weight a great length so that makes her an expert on body-image, right?  Right, so let's give her a show!

A source tells the NY Daily News, "She and a friend set off on a road trip around the world in search of what people find beautiful and why." And pop/country singer is even planning to try some of the "shocking things that women do to make themselves beautiful. Picture 'Fear Factor.'"

Coming from a woman who famously used Restylane and thought Chicken of the Sea was, in fact, chicken, we’re a bit scared that Jess' attempts to re-create cultural beautification routines will end in a possibly nuclear international incident.

We’re not sure if the show will actually be about people with real body-image issues -- which we guess would be anyone over a size two according to H'wood standards  -- or just about people who had a bad picture taken of them in a pair of horrid, high-waisted mom jeans that made them look a bit chubby and then refused to SHUT UP about it, but we’re sure it will be entertaining.

Anyway, based on Jess's past desperate attempts at regaining some relevance, she'll probably churn out a few episodes before the show's premise is shown to be flimsier than Paris Hilton's grasp of appropriate public behavior when Jess accidentally mistakes moisturizer for chip dip, but she'll keep going because the money's good, and then she'll starve herself for Dukes of Hazard 2: Less Plot, Even Shorter Shorts after she divorces the whole body-image sham when the show's canceled.

Seriously though, after a string of career failures, we're rooting for Jess.  But wouldn't it be easier for her to just call up her friends at MTV and see about getting a part on The Hills?  After all, they're always looking for blondes.

By Paige Muller

Paige Muller, Gossip & Hollywood Hijinx
		About the author:
		Paige Muller is a gossip gal with an appreciation – some would say obsession – for Hollywood hijinx, celebrity style and the latest fashion trends.  From who hooked up, who's knocked up and "WTF are they wearing?", Paige offers all the dish, with a side of snark. When not pondering Jennifer Aniston's perplexing post-breakup PR strategy, Paige is a published writer and communications professional who has worked with brands like Dove, L'Oreal, More magazine, Gap and WE: Woman's Entertainment.
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