Ashlee-Simpson Wentz Is Unemployed But At Least Her TV Career Lasted Longer Than Mischa Barton's.

*  Despite the lack of curriculum focusing on Xenu's many death rays, Katie Holmes has enrolled Suri in a Catholic school in Boston. "She is not convinced by Scientology and has told Tom that she wants Suri to be educated as a Catholic, like she was. They had been having huge problems agreeing on her school. To say they were having arguments is putting it mildly - but Tom came around to the idea in the end," says a source. Why in the lizard kingdom would Tom Cruise agree to send Suri to a Catholic scho- oh, wait, there's young boys in uniforms there. Mystery solved.

*  Well, that didn't take long. The first exploitation of Michael Jackson's grieving children is scheduled to air in December. Reportedly the Jacksons are at odds over the inclusion of Michael Jackson's three children in an upcoming A&E reality show about the famous family. If these kids were actually allowed to grow up out of the spotlight, that would mean only one thing: Joe Jackson was dead.

*  And in more Jackson family drama ... Jermaine Jackson's ex-wife Alejandra Jackson filed a lawsuit against him because she claims he has stopped paying child support for his two kids, Jermajesty  and Jaffar. Alejandra says that Jermaine claims that he only made $35k in 2008, but that must be a lie since he's still living in a fancy house and driving a fancy car. And in filed documents, Alejandra states that Jermaine owes $35,500 in child support. Alejandra is in such a bad way that Jermaine's own mother helps her out by giving her gift cards to Ralph's grocery store so that she can buy food for the boys. Okay, how is Jermaine going to do his kids like that? He already committed child abuse by naming them his boys Jermajesty and Jaffar, and now he's not going to put food in their mouths?! Maybe Jermajesty better change his name to Jerpauper!

*  Despite being "married" to the guy, Khloe Kardashian apparently hasn't even met Lamar Odom's kids yet. Then again what's more important: meeting the man you're going to spend the rest of your life with's children or immediately hawking your marriage on a reality show so you can rub it in Kim's face even though you're essentially riding on her huge butt's coattails from being in that sex tape? Honestly, that's a tough call.

*  Lindsay Lohan appeared in a Beverly Hills courtroom for not attending alcohol education courses, which is a violation of her probation. Of course Lindsay's messed this up. It's hard attending your court-ordered alcohol education course when you
have better stuff to do, like not attend your court-ordered alcohol education course after she found out it had nothing to do with learning to mix drinks or free tequila shots.

*  Bleeding Mug! X Factor winner and singer Leona Lewis was randomly punched in the face during a signing of her autobiography in central London. Man, that chapter about Simon Crowley's fake chest hair must have been a doozy. "He [the attacker] walked up there with the book, she signed it and, as she looked up, he just punched her," said an onlooker. The singer suffered bruising to the side of her head and was taken to a private doctor in Central London as a precaution. No word yet on a motive, but the nation is astounded that no such similar assault has been committed against “author” Lauren Conrad.  Or “author” Paris Hilton.  Or “author” Katie Price.  Need we go on?

*  Sources have revealed to RadarOnline that Nicole Richie and her Good Charlotte boyfriend, Joel Madden, may have secretly tied the knot. The sources shared Nicole has been “talking more seriously about marriage since the tragic death of her long term boyfriend, Adam Goldstein.” In other words, since there’s no chance of getting back with her more talented boyfriend, why not marry Joel? Nicole’s reps have not responded to these claims because they forgot she was their client since she’s so
incredibly boring.

*  Jon Gosselin apparently believes his time and energy is worth somewhere around $12,000-per hour -- because that's how much he's demanding to appear on a Florida radio show.  Team Gosselin justified the amount by saying, "[Jon's] name and appearance on your show will instantly draw press ... and will be a high point for the show." The rep also describes Gosselin as "quite funny, sharp witted and interesting." Before we're too quick to judge, there's probably a perfectly reasonable explanation for why Jon was asking for so much money per hour: Ed Hardy shirts are expensive. Of course, if Jon really is as "sharp witted" as his rep claims, he'd have asked for payment in something he needs more than money these days: STD anti-itch cream.

*  Heidi Montag wouldn't go to her sister Holly's birthday party at Empire nightclub last weekend because the club wouldn't pay her an appearance fee. "Holly was really wishing that her sister could just be a sister and stop by her birthday party, but Heidi only goes places if she is getting paid," an insider snitched to tab mag. Doesn't this seem backwards? You'd think it would be Heidi that would have to pay for people to show up at her events. Of course, if Heidi really wants to surround herself with people
that pay to hang out with her, there's always another option: working at a strip joint.

*  So much for having a baby, at least this time around. 36-year-old former Grey's Anatomy star T.R. Knight and his 20-year-old twink Mark Cornelsen have split after two years together.  A close friend to the now ex-duo cites Knight's hectic schedule as the cause of the split, but "It just came to a natural end, no hard feelings." Maybe T.R. just got tired of waking up in the middle of the night to Mark's cries for a bottle of milk and a diaper change.

*  Apparently Ashlee Simpson Wentz is just as good an actress as she is a singer--she’s just been fired from the CW’s Melrose Place. Man, it is a damn shame that a talentless, riding-my-sister's-coattails, lip-synching mess like Ashlee can't even keep a job on a recycled version of a has-been show. Sads.

By Paige Muller

Paige Muller, Gossip & Hollywood Hijinx
		About the author:
		Paige Muller is a gossip gal with an appreciation – some would say obsession – for Hollywood hijinx, celebrity style and the latest fashion trends.  From who hooked up, who's knocked up and "WTF are they wearing?", Paige offers all the dish, with a side of snark. When not pondering Jennifer Aniston's perplexing post-breakup PR strategy, Paige is a published writer and communications professional who has worked with brands like Dove, L'Oreal, More magazine, Gap and WE: Woman's Entertainment.
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