Twitter Operator, What Is Your Emergency?

It wasn't quite the shocking "WTF" moment like Eminem's encounter with Bruno's balls and his face, but yet another music awards show was rocked by a physical encounter.  

Shockingly, it wasn't the BET Awards.

Celebrity gossip hound Perez Hilton was in Toronto over the weekend to present at the MuchMusic Awards when he started pleading for the cops on his Twitter account (as if the Toronto police monitor Twitter for celeb assaults), alleging that Will.I.Am of the Black Eyed Peas had gone "boom boom pow" on his face.

PerezHilton: I’m in shock. I need the police ASAP. Please come to the SoHo Metropolitan Hotel now. Please.

PerezHilton: I was assaulted by Will.I.Am of the Black Eyed Peas and his security guards. I am bleeding. Please, I need to file a police report. No joke.

PerezHilton: Still waiting for the police. The bleeding has stopped. I need to document this. Please, can the police come to the SoHo Met Hotel.

Uh, does Perez not know that 911 works in Canada too?  Dude, if you can type 140 characters, you can dial three numbers.  Britney Spears might not know the difference between London and Manchester but even she'd know that.  Probably. And wouldn't "9-1-1-send" be easier than "tap tap tappity tap tap piss and moan tap tap tappity tap tap tap me me me ...?"  

Of COURSE Perez Hilton got beat down. Just take a look at what he was wearing, for chrissakes. It’s like the wardrobe equivalent of a giant kick-me sign. We're just surprised no one took him down sooner. 

Hilton, naturally, videotaped a statement for his website giving his version of what happened (here). Gotta get that click-thru revenue!

He refers to W.I.A. as a “heat-seeking missile”, and there is lots of crying on the tape, and many “ev-er” and “ne-ver” utterances. It's pretty much just like Chris Crocker's "Leave Britney Alllloooonnneee" video, except with a pudgy and balding former band camp kid.

Will.I.Am posted a video response (here) in which he denies assaulting Hilton and claims Hilton called him a “faggot” outside of the club. He ended it with: “Shame
on you, shame on your behavior, and that’s just messed up.”

Please, Will.I.Am, do not be so humble. You will be hailed as a hero.

TMZ has video (here) of the over-the-top hissy fit where Perez and Will can be heard arguing back and forth about writing stuff on his website. And Perez can clearly be heard shouting, “You’re not a f**king artist. You’re a f**king faggot.”

Whaaa? Somewhere Carrie Prejean's mouth just hit the floor.

And in another sign of the New Media Apocalypse, even Tila Tequila got involved at the forefront of investigative journalism on this story,  with the MTV star tweeting, “Unless Perez is drunk N someone knocked him out N he thinks it was a Will.I.Am look-a-like. But Will has no idea what Perez is talkin about.”

After all the famewhoring brouhaha, it turns out it was the Black Eyed Peas' manager Polo Molina who attacked Perez and punched him in the eye. Hilton himself, in this morning’s video statement, even said it was Molina, and not Will.i.am, that punched him several times in the eye, with Hilton sporting a noticeable welt in the video.

But where's the story in that?

As much as we were moved by how Twitter was used in Iran this last week, we're glad to see it has been reclaimed for its true purpose: celebrity-oversharing train wrecks.  

By Paige Muller

Paige Muller, Gossip & Hollywood Hijinx
		About the author:
		Paige Muller is a gossip gal with an appreciation – some would say obsession – for Hollywood hijinx, celebrity style and the latest fashion trends.  From who hooked up, who's knocked up and "WTF are they wearing?", Paige offers all the dish, with a side of snark. When not pondering Jennifer Aniston's perplexing post-breakup PR strategy, Paige is a published writer and communications professional who has worked with brands like Dove, L'Oreal, More magazine, Gap and WE: Woman's Entertainment.
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