If He Turns Up Missing, Check for Crop Circles In The Backyard

"The ship has really hit the fan," cousin Larry Apple-ton!

Move over, Chris Kattan and Jeremy Piven, because here comes a battle between two true Hollywood heavyweights — Tom Cruise and former Perfect Strangers star Bronson Pinchot (aka Balki Bartokomous and Cruise's Risky Business co-star from 26 years ago).

Pinchot ripped on Cruise in an interview with the Onion AV Club, apparently totally unafraid that it might ruin his ca– well, let’s just say, it’s an AWESOME quote:

"We thought Tom [Cruise] was the biggest bore on the face of the Earth… He was tense and made constant, constant unrelated homophobic comments, like, “You want some ice cream, in case there are no gay people there?” I mean, his lingo was larded with the most… There was no basis for it. It was like, “It’s a nice day, I’m glad there are no gay people standing here.” Very, very strange.

Years and years later when people started to torment him with that, I used to think “God, that’s really fitting, because he tormented a lot of people as a 20-year-old.” He made such a big deal about it."

Well, "bing bong binki binki bakalava!!" In Mypos, they have a saying: You just got SUUUUUURVVVVEDDDDDDD, Mr. Cruise!

We're not sure what ice cream has to do with being gay but we bet TommyGirl's favorite flavor is Rocky Road or Fudge Ripple. With nuts on top.

Throwing more fuel on the fire of Hollywood’s hottest new feud, Cruise’s publicist has already responded, “Wait, who?”  

Ridi-cool-us. 

By Paige Muller

Paige Muller, Gossip & Hollywood Hijinx
		About the author:
		Paige Muller is a gossip gal with an appreciation – some would say obsession – for Hollywood hijinx, celebrity style and the latest fashion trends.  From who hooked up, who's knocked up and "WTF are they wearing?", Paige offers all the dish, with a side of snark. When not pondering Jennifer Aniston's perplexing post-breakup PR strategy, Paige is a published writer and communications professional who has worked with brands like Dove, L'Oreal, More magazine, Gap and WE: Woman's Entertainment.
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